I feel I ought apologise, readers all, for my absence from this space.

Truth is I've been suckered in by the evil that is MySpace. It's a convenient package, I'll admit, but there're some nasty beasties hiding in those banner ad's, and some equally nasty beasties with profiles too!

I came back here because of Solender.  I'm subscribed to his blog, so every so often a pearl, a gem, a veritable diamond drops into my Inbox. One did today. It reminded me why this place was so valuable to me, how it still could be.

And so I vent...

There's this guy... There's always a guy, or a girl, when it comes to me. There's always someone, and when there isn't someone there's the possibility or expectation of someone. I don't want a someone but there always is one. Fearnley commented on it, I don't doubt others are fully aware of it... I'm cognizant of it. It's part of what makes me me and what sends me crazier than ever. I hate people, I get nauseous being in typical social groups, I eventually find excuses to avoid everyone. But I also have a desire to connect... to understand and be understood. My ideal is The Tribe. However, that's pure longing... society as it stands is not built for The Tribe.

Partway through writing this my network connection died. While fixing it I realised I don't want to write any more. Suffice it to say someone I care about has gone. Just as they always do. Every time.