This is where it all started...

... perhaps this is where it all ends.

I would suggest we make bets on the possibility of my surviving the weekend... but I know the answer already. I'm still not selfish enough to go through with it. I'm selfish enough to be a total bitch to the guy I love... and then to stress him out into running away... but I'm not selfish enough to run away myself.

How wrong is that?

I'm sticking around because I made a promise and because other people need me. I'm not sticking around for me.

I'm not even sure I exist right now!

I started crying and now I can't stop... If nothing else, I'll at least have beautiful skin. Although, with the lack of sleep and the unlack of alcohol it'll probably take more than a few drops of salt...

How do I manage to do this?

I find something beautiful... or something beautiful finds me, more like... and I drive it away.

Life is life... and yet...